NPR Watch: Clinton In

NPR said it, I just heard it. But the sources are anonymous, so I'll wait until the WSJ prints it up for me.

Are Vampires Sexy?

Why am I totally in the dark about this stuff? I guess when it comes to the underworld you can't be too choosy. Mummies--too much clothes. Goblins--unsexy name and childlike disposition. Trolls--too short, can't wear heels when going out with him (or her if it's a Trollbian).

Okay. Titanic - bad movie. But a poor Irishman, or the late 20th century imagining of one? They fight AND dance, that's ladybait! Just ask anyone who's hot stuff at the honky tonk, that plus mechanical bull and you're a country-fried dream.





The girls on NPR were saying, "the lines [from the new Vampire movie] are cheesy but you don't think of them as cheesy." Oh yeah, they're into him. You know girls dig a guy when everything he says is pure gold hilarity, romance, and insight. Same vice versa, but guys don't try listening to girls much no matter how hot they are. Sexual attraction for guys also has a sort of white noise effect, which includes women's voices, cars honking, and authority figures that can arrest, fire, or ground you.

Too bad for teen boys. To be like a poor Irishman, just take some dancing lessons and learn not to wince when you land a punch and it hurts your poor knuckles. Vampire though? Well, they're not real. And they look like goths.