What to do about agressive male co-workers

That's me, by the way. I'm the agressive male co-worker. Angry at work because of lack of sleep plus dealing with small business owners. Small businesses, that noble breed, you say? How on earth could they be frustrating? Well, even though it happens week after week, it always astonishes me when these people (who often have 20+ years of experience) call me with a problem and just say that they're 'confused.' They're not confused, there's nothing confusing about the business I'm in. It's so clear cut that with 25 pages I can have a temp worker do my job (4 hour workweek anyone?). What's clear cut for me is even easier for them. Yet, they get confused, meaning that I have to step in and offer them concessions because they're unhappy about something.

This business that I'm in offers:

100% return policy on product, meaning all products that don't sell in the store can be returned for the money owed on them.

100% replacement policy on damaged goods

All sorts of retail incentives in the form of coop, or money back for promoting our items. Oh, by the way, isn't promoting items to sell something that businesses should do so that they can, I don't know, sell items?

Fair business policy. Meaning, we cannot offer a great rate on our product to the biggest vendor, and a lesser rate to the smaller vendor. It is against the law. The only time we can offer a better rate to a vendor is if they, essentially, do some of our distribution job for us. If they distribute to other vendors (or to their own locations, essentially other vendors), we can offer them a better discount. This is about as level a playing field as it gets (how would you like to be told that a bulk discount is illegal???)

And boy do they complain. Everything is a complaint, and they are flabbergasted when we do not single them out for the best promotions.

I do sympathize with them. All of these small business owners got into the business when it was not that great of a business to begin with. Then, national players opened successful, attractive chain shops, plus online retailers flipped the playing field even more. These small businesses are dropping like flies. One minute I'm trying to help figure out their promotions, the next minute I hear that they're closing. The amount of closings is at least one store a month, and a few major stores each year.

The survivors of this bunch are a mean, Dickensian lot who do whatever it takes to stay open. I need to compile the dirty playbook at some point because these businesses truly have the Darwinian gifts to survive against all odds. They will do anything to stay open, anything to extend their credit, and then when folding, 'settle' with the suppliers only to somehow reopen again. Can they be ignored? Hardly.

But back to me. My boss used to say that she thought it was good that I didn't just roll over and take what these small business owners were dishing, that it was good to stand up to them. Yet, is it really? I know I get some bad vibes coming off me, and I don't like to give out the bad vibes. Is the agressive male co-worker toxic or just a part of the cog in the wheel? Is being nice all the time to people who're taking advantage of your corporation just as bad?

That is more than enough questions for one day!