Why am I totally in the dark about this stuff? I guess when it comes to the underworld you can't be too choosy. Mummies--too much clothes. Goblins--unsexy name and childlike disposition. Trolls--too short, can't wear heels when going out with him (or her if it's a Trollbian).
Okay. Titanic - bad movie. But a poor Irishman, or the late 20th century imagining of one? They fight AND dance, that's ladybait! Just ask anyone who's hot stuff at the honky tonk, that plus mechanical bull and you're a country-fried dream.
The girls on NPR were saying, "the lines [from the new Vampire movie] are cheesy but you don't think of them as cheesy." Oh yeah, they're into him. You know girls dig a guy when everything he says is pure gold hilarity, romance, and insight. Same vice versa, but guys don't try listening to girls much no matter how hot they are. Sexual attraction for guys also has a sort of white noise effect, which includes women's voices, cars honking, and authority figures that can arrest, fire, or ground you.
Too bad for teen boys. To be like a poor Irishman, just take some dancing lessons and learn not to wince when you land a punch and it hurts your poor knuckles. Vampire though? Well, they're not real. And they look like goths.
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2 comments:
God Wells, you have been living in the dark. Why do you say that vampires look like goths with the inference that that somehow makes them unsexy? How much you have to learn.
BTW early vampire stories often had sexy lesbian vampires in them. Lots of sexy making out that turns into bloody neck biting.
From Wikipedia:
"Carmilla" is a Gothic novella by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu. First published in 1872, it tells the story of a young woman's susceptibility to the attentions of a female vampire named Carmilla. "Carmilla" predates Bram Stoker's Dracula by twenty five years and has been adapted many times for cinema.
...the lesbian vampire in Carmilla was adapted from an even earlier narrative poem entitled Christabel by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, in 1797 (and 1800).
Christabel
And what about the movie The Hunger?
I am totally with you on the vampire thing - I don't get it or how that movie made a gazillion dollars this weekend.
Vampire unsexiness case and point: Interview with a Vampire. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Christian Slater and Antonio Banderas (and this was the mid-90s so it was still completely acceptable to find all of these men sexy) all together and you still couldn't get me to sit through the whole thing! Was it the wigs, the face powder, the horrible accents or a blonde Tom Cruise? I don't know. It sucked. Pun intended.
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